Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Couples Therapy for Maintenance

Many couples view therapy as a sign of weakness of their marriage being in trouble. Yet for many couples, the idea of regularly tuning up their marriage with some added insight, improved communication and action is often a small price to pay to maintain marital longevity.

Bryon Remo,licensed marital and family therapist, practicing in Southbury, Connecticut notes that, "Couples who engage in preventive counseling are often able to recognize that problems are an essential part of life and that maintaining closeness during times of trial is important for long term stability." They do not view conflict as a threat to their marriage, but instead see it as an opportunity for closeness. Couples counseling allows individuals to feel that they can weather whatever storm comes their way.

Couples that seek out therapy services are essentially feeding their marriage the gift of understanding, patience and giving. Most people who come to counseling are doing so in the aftermath of repeated patterns that have not shifted. They no longer see hopefulness going it alone. And yet, once they participate in counseling and can maintain an awareness of their desired outcomes, they often do quite well. This is true when ownership and willingness is high.

Bryon Remo strongly suggests that couples learn to play "tug o' war on the same side of the rope." That is to suggest that they view conflict as a shared problem as oppossed to a competitive process.

Bryon Remo, M.Ed., LMFT
Licensed Marital and Family Therapist