Bryon Remo Primer on Post Divorce Parenting
Many parents feel that if they get through their divorce their emotional energy will eventually be restored. And although this may have some truth for some, for others there is no end point to the inevitable emotional roller coaster that accompanies post divorce life for parents. Despite valiant efforts parents make to minimize the ill effects of divorce, they nonetheless have as their greatest challenge the need to communicate with their ex far more than perhaps they'd prefer.
Having to constantly communicate with one's ex regarding scheduling, kids' events, holidays and other matters is often a mentally draining process. Bryon Remo, M.Ed., LMFT notes that, "Divorce often sucks the life out of people and yet there is no end to the emotional challenge of having to deal with the very person you chose to forever part."
Remo notes that despite this challenge it is important for both parents to be mindful of their children's need for structure, predictability and peace. When parents are able to communicate with a high level of regard for one another (despite their differences) they model for their children effective problem solving despite the obvious stress that accompanies such. Co-parenting does not equate to a need to agree on every issue, but instead to communicate more effectively than during the marriage. When parents are able to put the needs of the kids above their own anger, they can help their children minimize the challenges of divorce.
Bryon Remo is a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in Southbury, Connecticut.
