Bryon Remo Primer on Creating a New Experience for Teens in Therapy

Not surprisingly, teens are often the most difficult population to try and get into the counseling office.

It is not so much that they have little to say, it is that they have an erroneous perspective as to what effective therapy can look like. According to Bryon Remo, M.Ed., LMFT, who specializes in working with teenagers in Connecticut, teens are looking for a different experience than what predominately exists. Sure therapists all offer a safe, confidential and supportive environment; that is par for the course. But today's teenagers are looking for a therapy experience that is much more honest and "real" than previously occurred. This means that they desperately want to know that a therapist "gets it."

Teens do not want to attend therapy in many ways because they do not believe a therapist will truly remain unbiased. According to Remo, teens are also worrried that they are going to be grilled with endless questions prompting them to open up in ways they are not ready for. It is important that teens feel that their view of the world is understood before they can be challenged to consider an alternative perspective.

Too often today parents want to see change quickly in their adolescents and assume the therapist will wave the magic wand that brings about such dramatic change. And although therapists have many tools at their disposal it is the relationship that always trumps the interventions in order of importancy. Teens need to know that they are fully accepted.

According to Bryon Remo, teenagers today want to know that they are not going to have to be so appropriate in therapy. They do not want to have to monitor each word that comes off their lips for fear of being judged as being inappropriate. When a therapist is able to speak the language of a teenager it does not suggest an endorsement of behavior unbecoming, but rather an acknowledgement that their style of communicating is recognizable and workable to the therapist. A therapist needn't be "cool" to connect well with kids, he/she just needs to know what's really on their radar.

Bryon Remo, M.Ed., LMFT is a licensed marital and family therapist practicing in Southbury, CT. He specializes in couples closeness and challenging adolescent issues. He serves Southbury,Watertown, Oxford, Monroe, Seymour, West Hartford, Naugatuck, Farmington,Thomaston and Southington, CT.

Energy and the Modern Teenager

Too many teenagers today, besides being bored often seem sluggish and unmotivated. They struggle to entertain themselves and often turn to quick fix options that have no real sustenance. There are many factors that interfere with an adolescent's motivation. However, one undeniable factor is a lack of energy.

Kids are simply not physically moving their bodies enough to rid themselves of the multitude of toxins that invariable invade us all. Outlets such as facebook, texting, video games and television are sedentary tasks that keep individuals from truly experiencing the physical health that is desperately needed by today's youth.

Physical health promotes mental clarity and vice versa. However, it is not merely necessary to think positive. Those thoughts must translate into action steps that achieve real change. Teenagers need encouragement to become active participants in respecting their bodies as an essential (not optional) part of their daily living. Research shows that kids who exercise at least 30 minutes per day are far more likely to experience the mental health needed to make better decisions in their lives.

Another important factor to consider with teenagers is that they must take a closer look at their water consumption. Many people when tired attribute their fatigue with sleeplesnness, depression or hunger, when in fact it is often due to dehydration. Teenagers need to move away from the so-called energy drinks, that are really sugar drinks, and restore their bodies energy through the simplicity of water.

Obviously there are many reasons that lead to adolescents feeling unmotivated and lacking in energy. Each could fill a book or more. However, there is a need to help teenagers avoid the over analyzation of their lack of energy and simply help them devise a plan to bolster it. Much can be done to support adolescents, but movement and water are a great starting point.

Remo Counseling
Bryon Remo, M.Ed., LMFT
http://www.remocounseling.citymax.com/

How to Determine the Length of Therapy

Many times clients want a sense of how long they will need to be in therapy. Of course they have the freedom to leave at any moment or session that they choose to never return again- thus, it depends predominately on them. However, for those that entrust the wisdom of therapists there should be a distinction made between those clients that are highly motivated to change and those that are simply appeasing others. For the latter I would suggest less than one session and for the former, an agreed upon time frame can be useful when trying to target goals. This can hold people accountable for trying to genuinely create change outside the therapy walls. However, for those that appreciate the ebb and flow of therapy and the uncertainties in life that keep structured work from always making sense, a time frame may not be a useful concept. In the age of Quick Fixes, it is good practice for therapists to suggest the possibilities that can exist in short and long term treatment. This can then be paired with a client's desire for a timetable or not. I do think their is a place for establishing a time frame- however, this can put an unnecessary pressure on both client and therapist alike. What makes more sense is to have a timetable to take stock of the process of change as oppossed to the achievement of specific goals. The nature of goal setting can be quite productive, so long as it allows for the flexibility to shift gears if the therapy calls for such.

Cheers,

Bryon Remo
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Southbury, CT

Specializing in Couples and Adolescent Issues.