Couple Closeness

There are many ways for couples to maintain closeness. Through caring gestures, patience and compassion couples show each other daily how important they are to one another. There are a myriad of ways to show that you love your partner. Yet one concept seems to stand out among all when determining which couples are likely to be truly happy- the ability to forgive.

Being able to forgive one's partner is a way of saying that the relationship is always more essential than any hurtful action. It is a way of showing an awareness of the human condition. It is also a way in which couples see the opportunity in conflict. Many couple's view arguing as another black mark on the eventual demise of their marriage, when in actuality it could do the opposite. It could be the argument that leads to the understanding necessary for closeness. Marriages often succeed or fail based on how conflict is viewed. Marital therapy can help couples see the importance of becoming comfortable with conflict.

Bryon Remo, M.Ed., LMFT
http://www.remocounseling.citymax.com/bryon_remo_services_1.html

Bryon Remo practices in Southbury, CT and serves West Hartford, Farmington, Watertown, Oxford, Monroe, Roxbury, Naugatuck and other surrounding communities.

Couples Who Create Change in Therapy

Couples often come motivated to counseling desiring change. Only the change they desire is solely from their partner. They often fail to view their relationship as a shared responsibility and because of this it creates a competitive element. They lobby hard to sell their virtuosity to a therapist who is only going to level the playing field despite their efforts to polarize the process.

When couples enter therapy with a willingness to be influenced by their partner the possibilities for change become greater. There is a hopeful spirit that tends to surround couples who believe that each is going to do whatever is necessary to mobilize their relationship.

As couples begin sharing their story, it is easy to assess what their intentions are whether or not they are clear in their explanation. There is a way of communicating that is easy to predict whether or not change is possible. When couples are able to provide a space for their partner to voice his/her concerns and can validate such despite disagreeing with it, then optimism begins to permeate the room.

Couples who create change in therapy are those who become increasingly comfortable with tension and do not become paralyzed by it. They are able to see disagreements as opportunities for closeness and understanding as oppossed to threats to their closeness. They are able to view conflict in a way that motivates them to become curious of their partner's view of the world.