The very thing that we strive to avoid or at least minimize has, perhaps, the greatest benefit to our capacity to move toward our desired life. No, I’m not talking about big picture concepts such as finances or long term planning. I’m talking about daily annoyances (i.e. the freakin’ laundry and dirty dishes). Little ones, medium ones and big ones! Are they really annoying or do you just get easily annoyed?
It is a peculiar truth that there are things that some of us would forever view as getting in the way of our ideal life, while others oddly (or maybe not so oddly) seem to embrace. One man/woman may view housecleaning as the biggest pain in the donkey, while another pleasantly dances among the airborne dust particles soon to be swept away by an eager joy for domestic sanitation.
To cite a personal example; in fact one that is occurring while I write this post, my youngest daughter, Lucy (3) sprinted toward me just a moment ago asking me if I could put the backpack and helmet on her Biker Barbie Doll. I was prepared to write about the perceived annoyances of fast drivers, slow drivers and uncertain drivers- but I have long wrestled with my feelings on the pros and cons of Barbie and thought this may be more appealing for other parents to ponder.
Because I have always had a seemingly innate fear that my daughters will someday desire a life akin to Barbie’s carefree existence, I’ve often found myself safeguarding their little minds. This has sometimes meant playing keep away from Barbie! Although my annoyance with her has lessened with Mattel’s ability to evolve (slightly), I still find myself thinking, “You will not reduce my girls to desiring physical beauty! Not mine! I will fight you til the end!”
All this useless cognitive distress (however mild) takes away from the likely possibility that it is still just a doll- a plaything! It is one concept of many that my influential little minds will be confronted with. But more importantly, there can be a healthier and less “annoyed” way of perceiving her flawless disposition. When annoyed, most of us simply desire to be, well… less annoyed. No big secret there! But….when annoyed, we also have the ability to create a small space for ourselves that asks us, “What else could this (doll) mean? Does it have to be annoying? Is there a teachable moment for them or myself within it? Will I simply forever be annoyed with certain things? I hope the answer is a resounding, “No!” as I hate to feel emotionally imprisoned by the external world. In Viktor Frankl’s, Man’s Search for Meaning, the author attributes his ability to survive the Holocaust not merely as luck but on his desire to find meaning or value in his experience and thus being able to WILL himself through pain. In his case, his desire to tell his story and to share the power of the human mind was his impetus for continuing his struggle (despite many of his comrades choosing to give up). In the less dramatic run-ins of our everyday lives we always have the power to ascribe whatever meaning we choose to give an experience. Today, I shall relish in the fact that my little energetic bunny came racing my way to have me dress up her Adventure Barbie, as opposed to the Glamour Barbie! Ahhh….the little victories in life.
It is in everyday annoyances that perception is formed. Is my boss annoying? Are the lines at the grocery store annoying? Must I wait this long for my check? Why are you parking in the handicapped spot?- you look fine! These moments have the most relevant impact on whether or not we merely continue to work on being less annoyed or whether we can be glad Barbie has not yet gone rogue.
Cheers to those who don’t get that annoyed!
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